Saturday, March 28, 2009

Pointless Argument #1

The Snuggie is the most important invention of the decade, possibly the century. Not only is it a highly functional piece of clothing, a source of hassle free warmth and a cultural phenomenon, the advertisements gave people with obviously developmental delays high profile acting opportunities. And snuggies no doubt.

Disagree? I dare you!


  1. Posted on behalf of PiebaldBrowedFreak:

    Not being a mental patient or an infant,
    I was completely unaware of the existence of this "Snuggie." Thanks for bringing this piece of heinousness to my attention.

    I don't even feel the need to refute your argument. Instead, I give you this:

    Acting opportunities? More like tragic exploitation. I have little doubt those poor bastards were paid in snuggies; a quick Google search revealed to me that the blonde woman actually starved to death while trapped inside hers.

    Let's all observe a moment of silence for that poor retarded lady...

  2. You have also just proven you are not fully engaged in the world. How did you miss the Snuggie during the holiday advertising barrage? You must live in a hole, a cave or some other inaccessible hovel. Your opinion on this matter is now of the same relevance as Ted Kaczynski. I can only say that your anti-Sunggie manifesto is much shorter and easier to read than his work of, well, insanity.

    And as for the blond who was starved in the tragic snuggie incident, at least she didn't' freeze to death as the result of he blanket slipping off when she reached for her popcorn. I can only imagine the death toll of that tragedy every single day in the USA alone.

  3. Yes, some might say that I am not fully engaged in the world. You see, I have made the unpopular choice to not have a television. Sure, I miss out on some important cultural phenomena, but at least my brain isn't receiving subliminal messages from the government. Maybe you're wearing your tinfoil hat while watching these Snuggie commercials, but are you sure it's sufficient protection?

    No, I didn't think so.

  4. Snuggies are the best way to highlight the idiots of our world. Whoever thinks they need to wear a cheap-ass fleece robe backwards deserves to be ridiculed.

    Not only are Snuggies poor quality. They are held together by the tears of Cambodian children. Anyone who buys one hates Cambodian children.

  5. How dare you say I hate Cambodian children! I think they're delicious!

  6. Furthermore if Snuggies were high quality how could the company ensure an ongoing customer base? They expect them to "fail" after a period of reasonable use, then they will need to be replaced. This ensures a steady supply of Snuggie related jobs and in our unstable economy, I think that is a genuine service to our citizens, and the citizens of the WORLD. I dare say that you, in your protest of Snuggie quality, must hate freedom.

  7. And to further illustrate the cultural relevance of Snuggies, I offer this!

  8. Even more evidence of the cultural significance of the Snuggie.

  9. /shakes head sadly/

    Just because something is "culturally significant" does not make it right.

    Snuggies are not only absurd, they are infantilizing. Have you seen the film WALL*E? It's a little window into our Snuggie-wrapped future, if you ask me.

    So go ahead, cozy up in your fleecy denial while the whole world goes to shit. I'll be keeping my legs free so I can run from the post-Armageddon slow mutants and cannibals.

  10. So you shun TV but flock to the theater to see WALL*E. You are an odd one. I'm sorry you fail to comprehend the significance of the Snuggie, back in the early days of the printing press you probably would have been one of those denouncing the written word too. "oh, it will be the ruin of society..." Whatever.
    I'm not proposing we EAT the Snuggie, or that we invent robots to bring us Snuggies all day and night. Good Lord woman, I'm simply suggest that lounging in comfort with a reduced risk of death from exposure when I pick up my knitting MIGHT BE BENEFICIAL to society at large. Let me guess, you're all up in arms about penicillin too, right? Nutjob.

  11. That's right, fall back on the ad hominem attack. Maybe *this time* it will actually work for you.

    You think just because I'm wearing a tinfoil hat I'm a NUTJOB? Hurl names all you want, lady; we'll see who has the last laugh when the government uses its laser beams to turn your brain to goo.

  12. They're not going to get my brain, or any other part of my body. I'm wearing a tin foil jumpsuit! It isn't terribly comfortable, or easy to move in, but it keeps me safe. And me snuggie keeps me warm.

  13. A tinfoil jumpsuit? I had no idea there was such a thing! I usually wear my Mylar jumpsuit when I go on outings in my flying car...oh wait a minute, I think I got my life confused with a Jetsons episode...


    I'm not letting that happen to my kids, you can be sure of that, you Snuggie-loving fascist.

  14. Posted by theevilsupergenius

    You don't let your kids watch tv and you're calling ME a fascist?