Sunday, March 29, 2009

Nickelodeon is the Perfect Babysitter

There is no better way to entertain my kids than Channel 40. I can turn it on and walk away for the rest of the day. My children will sit in front of the television all day without a care in the world.

I can get housework done, get a manicure and cook dinner without anyone asking for attention. All my motherly duties are taken over by Nick. Who could ask for anything more?


  1. I completely disagree. PBS not only provides free babysitting, but quality programming and education without all the media flash telling our kids what new toys they need in order for them to be happy kids.

  2. How would our kid know what to beg for in Target without all the commercials. Plus, they learn about other generations from the AARP Medicare Part B commercials.

  3. Watch out, the Empress will take exception to this as she has no TV. (FREAK) I take the hybrid TV approach. I like any show that turns my child into a mouth-breathing zombie long enough for me to use the restroom unattended or check my email. As for commercials, TiVo is the ultimate solution. Sure you have to be in the room but as soon as they start saying "I want that" you look up, zip past the commercials and quickly return to your laptop. Perfection.

  4. Thanks a lot for stealing my thunder, Evil Super Genius. Your encroaching on my territory will not go unpunished, I assure you.

    But she is right: you are all a bunch of brainless TV-addicted consumers. Why not turn your kids into mini carbon-copies of yourselves? Go right ahead, it will just assure my children their places in Harvard.

    Personally, I prefer to nourish my kids' brains on a healthy diet of educational videos. But maybe I just love them a little more. /shrug/

  5. Who's the moron now? Won't you be surprised when I tell you it is absolutely UNSAFE to eat videos. Even DVD should not be eaten. Love them more and you feed them plastic and metal particles.

    Even if you are just viewing them, I'd bet you'd be shocked to know that the Christian Right use those "educational videos" to inundate your child with the conservative agenda in subliminal messages. They figure the Liberal anti-TV moms who would use those instead of traditional TV are likely to be too smug to really check out the content as long as they are packaged as "educational" with some kind of liberal twist because they believe they are superior to other moms. Don't be too surprised when your darling angels start spouting fire and brimstone or sneaking out to support Prop 8.

  6. Oh, where to start...

    First of all, let's address your dietary concerns. Are *your* kids getting their US RDAs of plastic and heavy metals? I know mine are.

    As for your issues with political children are going to rebel against me no matter what. It's pretty much a given that they will become conservative right-wing Christians. If the religious right wants to speed the process along, who am I to complain? Let's just get it out of the way right now so I can disown them and live out my golden years in peace.

  7. I guess you're right. But only if you don't mind living out your "golden years" in a compound with some kind of religious sect that shuns medical treatments and advocates polygamy because your kids have opted to keep you with the family rather than put you in a home. Enjoy.