tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85389209830371751502024-03-04T20:11:02.073-08:00Pointless Argument BlogWe argue about nothing for no good reasonfollowthatdoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02073521142861511678noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-15458862919398977812010-07-31T16:27:00.000-07:002010-07-31T16:47:18.953-07:00The Onion® really IS America's Finest News Source<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjORFDqN09aS6ltf882R8_C8HTuIifGgP5KhECgdT5vGR4VWne42hAOTmjCMeYxs9LpuJCHcmVQ-WqIYyAcCyNZhPETLPH4X2Jge8WaQgNrfWfRuu5HhcWGC6-ZPa4TcxH6mcHiU39uP4Vp/s1600/the-onion-logo-1.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 78px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjORFDqN09aS6ltf882R8_C8HTuIifGgP5KhECgdT5vGR4VWne42hAOTmjCMeYxs9LpuJCHcmVQ-WqIYyAcCyNZhPETLPH4X2Jge8WaQgNrfWfRuu5HhcWGC6-ZPa4TcxH6mcHiU39uP4Vp/s200/the-onion-logo-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500217242084256370" border="0" /></a><br />Looking for a one-stop source for news? Look no further: <a href="http://www.theonion.com/">The Onion®</a> has it all!<br /><br />Up-to-the-minute breaking news reports like <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/lady-gaga-kidnaps-commissioner-gordon,17789/">this one</a> will keep you abreast of everything going on in the world.<br /><br />Incisive in-depth reports like <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-unemployment-high-because-people-keep-blowi,17803/">this</a> will give you plenty to talk about with the other losers waiting to pick up their unemployment checks.<br /><br />For the illiterate among us—yes, that's all of you idiots—there's even <a href="http://www.theonion.com/audio/gatorade-pledges-200-million-in-thirst-aid-to-unde,17797/">radio</a> and <a href="http://www.theonion.com/video/guatemalan-flights-datarecording-parrot-holds-clue,17785/">video</a> to keep you informed.<br /><br />Wanna know what's happening in the world of hard science, but you're too stupid to read the original papers? The Onion®'s crack team of science reporters will break it down for you in <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/worlds-scientists-admit-they-just-dont-like-mice,1256/">PlaNe TaLk eVen a MOrOn lIKe YOO caN unDerStand</a>.<br /><br />How about those of you who enjoy keeping up with the sports? The Onion®'s got your sports <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/several-nba-teams-interested-in-shaq-as-a-person,17818/">right here.</a><br /><br />And of course there's <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/sliders-ended-two-seasons-too-early-if-you-ask-me,17765/">the entertainment news</a> for all you superficial little bitches who like that sort of thing. Oh yeah, Chewboy, you know I'm talking to you.<br /><br />I DOUBLE-DOG dare you to find a better source than The Onion® for news!<br />------------------------------<br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer:</span> I am in no way affiliated with The Onion®...unless by "affiliated" you mean they shelled out a shit-ton of cash for me to post this.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-9338480353686949362010-07-29T08:12:00.001-07:002010-07-29T08:16:24.771-07:00Grape Nuts is the King of Cereals<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgaxcb1WgEnL3lmDRbwWaOiuUUorIc3Dfkjg94fMYEpxOyf2f2yYkLNWAkXCPiarPt44rPAHlVtPMXCcuysURrWOlgmTmS3XfX8UaaxMm5xpgya683zFqlSsP1YPFuZnxsq8xviRpPu9YA/s1600/images.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 184px; height: 184px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgaxcb1WgEnL3lmDRbwWaOiuUUorIc3Dfkjg94fMYEpxOyf2f2yYkLNWAkXCPiarPt44rPAHlVtPMXCcuysURrWOlgmTmS3XfX8UaaxMm5xpgya683zFqlSsP1YPFuZnxsq8xviRpPu9YA/s200/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499347288171500978" border="0" /></a><br />Really, there's no need for me to even back this statement up. The truth of it is self evident.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-47412290511805083522010-07-28T10:29:00.000-07:002010-07-28T10:29:22.189-07:00All death penalty states should move from lethal injection to death by REO SpeedwagonIn an effort to make the death of a convict involve more suffering, giving their victims, or the victims of their families even the tiniest bit of retribution, we should move away from lethal injection as a method of excecution. We should also refrain from further use of the electric chair, firing squad, death by stoning with frozen pickles and all other means and institute a blanket policy of death by REO Speedwagon. <br />
This method would force the convict to listen to an endless stream of the hits and B-sides of REO Speedwagon hits until they experience complete organ collapse. In all honesty it probably wouldn't even take that long. I mean, they really really suck.followthatdoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02073521142861511678noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-13062405659270644682009-08-04T10:37:00.000-07:002009-08-04T10:41:40.183-07:00It should be not only legal, but encouragedto slap people who a) speak very slowly b) take too long getting to their point c) act as though they are saying something new when they are just repeating something that has been said by someone else earlier.<div><br /></div><div>We live in a high speed society. We need efficiency in communication. We need to focus on driving results, not the slow and redundant chatter that drags shit down.</div><div><br /></div><div>And if by any chance you are forced to listen to other people via remote, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ie</span> a phone meeting, you should be able to substitute a high voltage jolt that could be administered by hitting "#7" on your phone.</div>followthatdoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02073521142861511678noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-8822710754415124672009-08-01T16:49:00.001-07:002009-08-01T17:03:23.352-07:00Pointless Decree: Pumpin' Up The Party Is Ofiicially This Blog's Theme SongSince the rest of you losers haven't really been pulling your weight around here, I'm going to go ahead and stage a bloodless coup. And my first act as Boss of This Blog is to decree that Hannah Montana's Pumpin' Up The Party (aka the Best Song Ever!) is now officially our theme song!<br /><br />I am hoping that this ragin' tune will inspire all of you to come back and get your sorry asses kicked by yours truly.<br /><br />And now...let's Pump Up This Party!<br /><br /><span id="snagEmbed" class="multiLn"><script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js"></script> <object id="myExperience" class="BrightcoveExperience"> <param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"> <param name="width" value="400"> <param name="height" value="346"> <param name="playerID" value="10032373001"> <param name="publisherID" value="1612833736"> <param name="isVid" value="true"> <param name="autoStart" value="false"> <param name="@videoPlayer" value="15495424001"> <param name="linkBaseURL" value="http://music.aol.com/video/pumpin-up-the-party/miley-cyrus/1725669"> </object> </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-87458385886078479242009-07-29T10:57:00.001-07:002009-07-31T21:55:10.861-07:00Pointless Argument #...fuck it, I can't keep track of this shit<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtTn1-1xLUKLm4Y0OP0X-lJSvawiytrsLae29L3l_JBtgLIpHTEvh2uYk4iqL0DcyQp3T9DKB3bputRiGngRME-n6jNk72q2t2sVSEI1o_gw0bqNMGXXEa7aYNVikMPC8FTbnR57p3eJWz/s1600-h/rawfoodpyramid.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 176px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtTn1-1xLUKLm4Y0OP0X-lJSvawiytrsLae29L3l_JBtgLIpHTEvh2uYk4iqL0DcyQp3T9DKB3bputRiGngRME-n6jNk72q2t2sVSEI1o_gw0bqNMGXXEa7aYNVikMPC8FTbnR57p3eJWz/s200/rawfoodpyramid.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363949398527865618" border="0" /></a><br />The best possible diet? <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raw_veganism">Raw veganism.</a> There are far too many reasons to list here, but here are just a few of the most compelling:<br /><br />1. It's a well-documented fact that <span style="font-weight: bold;">cooking food destroys its magical properties</span>. (Some people call this magic "micronutrients," but a more scientific term is "The Elixir of Youth.") If you consume only raw food, you will live forever. But eat just one molecule of cooked food? Later for you, man.<br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Cooking food also kills friendly bacteria</span>, like salmonella, shigella, and <span style="font-style: italic;">E. coli</span> O157:H7. Bacteria deserve to live, too, you MURDERER!<br /><br />3. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Raw vegans are closer to God.</span> Were Adam and Eve barbecuing ribs before they were cast out of Eden? No, I don't think so.<br /><br />4. Cooking requires the use of <span style="font-weight: bold;">fire, which is bad for the earth</span>. Why do you people hate the Earth so much? <span style="font-style: italic;">WHY?!</span><br /><br />5. Depriving oneself of delicious cooked foods <span style="font-weight: bold;">allows one to declare moral and spiritual superiority</span>. Anyone who can subsist on nothing but wheat grass and uncooked pumpkin is clearly a much more enlightened being.<br /><br />6. <span style="font-weight: bold;">You can kiss constipation good-bye.<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Forever.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-43302048355414621212009-07-22T06:22:00.000-07:002009-07-22T08:37:01.981-07:00This or That<span style="font-family:verdana;">Balance California's budget without issuing IOUs or raising taxes<br />or<br />Attend a Fred Phelps protest carrying one of his "God Hates Fags" signs</span>greencorduroyfroghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17872161278099089495noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-77131981581281531202009-07-16T08:14:00.000-07:002009-07-16T08:26:10.860-07:00Pointless Pop Quiz: Which NPR personality......is most deserving of being blasted with a firehose? And why?<br /><br />1. Scott Simon (host of Weekend Edition Saturday)<br />2. Stephen Hill (host of Music of the Hearts of Space)<br />3. Peter Sagal (host of Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!)<br />4. Puzzlemaster Will Shortz<br />5. Steve Inskeep (host of Morning Edition)<br /><br />And yes, there IS a right answer.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-76528744252846050622009-06-08T05:46:00.000-07:002009-06-08T06:00:16.080-07:00Pointless Argument #47: Nothing Says Welcome to the Neighborhood Like a Flaming Bag of Dogshit on Your Doorstep<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmzXcNEqjaxloEoCym6PItcA85MhCfukmEOdDdwwStFx4kweiOuVeb6h0GtrvLprCqmSCuJyS3L6F-pdDVYeOK9_SxL6_rIBpJeoMpuEyJjhzkoDuT_SSrFRlTRgSCHjd06c0GqhvySuP_/s1600-h/flaming-bag-of-shit.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 218px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmzXcNEqjaxloEoCym6PItcA85MhCfukmEOdDdwwStFx4kweiOuVeb6h0GtrvLprCqmSCuJyS3L6F-pdDVYeOK9_SxL6_rIBpJeoMpuEyJjhzkoDuT_SSrFRlTRgSCHjd06c0GqhvySuP_/s320/flaming-bag-of-shit.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344940511309111122" border="0" /></a>Sure, most people like to welcome their new neighbors with a plate of homemade baked goods. And that's fine—as long as you realize that this is how things are going to go down:<br /><ol><li>New neighbors move in, you welcome them with a pan of your famous lemon bars.</li><li>You exchange small talk over your fence for a few weeks.</li><li>New neighbor man asks to borrow your lawn mower. Of course you say yes.</li><li>A week later, lawn mower has not been returned.</li><li>New neighbor man denies having borrowed lawn mower, yet blatantly uses it to mow his lawn.</li><li>Heated words are exchanged over the fence.</li><li>Small items begin disappearing from your porch and yard.</li><li>New neighbor woman gives you the deep freeze when you see her in the morning. </li><li>You realize she never returned your lemon bar pan.</li><li>Your cat goes missing.</li><li>Also the framed wedding photo from your mantel.</li><li>You wake up to discover a large knife stabbed into your pillow. Through your wedding photo. And your cat.<br /></li></ol>Why not just save yourself the hassle of those initial niceties and go straight to the I-hate-yous? You'll thank me, I'm sure—and so will your cat.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-12845250901630653052009-06-02T14:09:00.000-07:002009-06-02T14:12:39.545-07:00Nothing says I love you like an enemaThoroughly cleansing the colon of your loved one is the fondest form of love. What else says "I will do anything for you" like an enema?followthatdoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02073521142861511678noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-513823546582811882009-04-05T23:20:00.000-07:002009-04-05T23:22:44.389-07:00Pointless Argument #11If you don't buy your shoes at the Shoe Pavilion, you pay to much! Or so the king of the shoe pavilion used to whine at us on tv. Well now that shoe pavilion as declared bankruptcy, maybe it is just proof we were paying too little. Too little to sustain a shoe business.<br />Disagree if you dare.TheEvilSuperGeniushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09757374342008279605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-24670255764462760552009-04-05T22:27:00.000-07:002009-04-05T22:28:13.194-07:00I win!<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" ><a style="font-family: verdana;" href="http://pointlessargument.com">check this out</a></span><br /></div>mamikazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07755373799677928934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-3017310725333417912009-04-02T04:13:00.000-07:002009-04-02T04:18:07.000-07:00Pointless CAGE MATCH! Facebook vs. craigslistFive ways in which craigslist beats that little bitch Facebook's ass:<br /><br />1. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Clean, simple layout</span> that doesn't change every three months for no apparent reason.<br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Pointless point system.</span> How many times have you longed to neg some asshole's status update? Do I give a shit about your mucus plug, so-called "friend" from fifth grade who I wasn't even crazy about back then? Yeah, that's VILE.<br /><br />3. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The ability to launch anonymous attacks in grey. </span>Self explanatory.<br /><br />4. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The ability to stalk and harass total strangers.</span> Also self explanatory.<br /><br />5. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The opportunity to meet like-minded sociopaths like you.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-19900426558955663652009-04-01T23:03:00.000-07:002009-04-01T23:04:25.372-07:00Pointless Argument #8I hereby declare myself the winner of all 7 previous arguments. So there!<br />Argue that <span style="font-weight: bold;">bitches.</span>TheEvilSuperGeniushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09757374342008279605noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-45203726655321636402009-04-01T08:42:00.000-07:002009-04-01T08:44:26.396-07:00Pointless Argument #7Artificial sweeteners are the devil. Not only do they all leave a nasty taste in your mouth, they really don't save you much. For example, if you swap your teaspoon of sugar in your morning coffee for a packet of "the blue stuff" the pound or two you might lose by cutting the calories will we easily offset by the weight of the tumor you get as a result of eating that crap.TheEvilSuperGeniushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09757374342008279605noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-55735704741287759952009-03-31T12:15:00.000-07:002009-03-31T12:16:46.317-07:00Denim is beautifulI want an entire wardrobe of denim. Pants, shirts, vests, skirts, panties, socks. Denim never goes out of style and lasts forever.mamikazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07755373799677928934noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-9591869834514312602009-03-31T08:28:00.000-07:002009-03-31T08:29:10.638-07:00Pointless Argument #5When flying, all passengers should be forced to wear airline issued jumpsuits free of zippers and other metallic trim. They should also be provided with books, magazines and movies at the airline's expense, but be allowed no carry on baggage. This would cut down on the security check time and the huge amount of time waiting for people to properly stow their baggage. <br /><br />Failing that, anyone who tries to carry one of those bags that is far too big for the overhead bin, but hey it has wheels so it must be a carry on, should have to ditch the bag and be forced to fly crammed into the overhead compartment.TheEvilSuperGeniushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09757374342008279605noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-91068629051665004572009-03-30T13:25:00.000-07:002009-03-30T13:26:36.035-07:00Pointless Argument #4: You Suck.Here I am, itching for a fight...and where are you? Huh?<br /><br />What the fuck do I have to do to get some action around here? Do I have to go tease my neighbor's pitbull?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-29619983306269106022009-03-29T17:45:00.000-07:002009-03-29T17:46:21.811-07:00What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet LoveIt's the only thing that there's just too little of.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-86706510864380209262009-03-29T08:43:00.001-07:002009-03-29T08:47:24.297-07:00Nickelodeon is the Perfect BabysitterThere is no better way to entertain my kids than Channel 40. I can turn it on and walk away for the rest of the day. My children will sit in front of the television all day without a care in the world.<br /><br />I can get housework done, get a manicure and cook dinner without anyone asking for attention. All my motherly duties are taken over by Nick. Who could ask for anything more?mamikazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07755373799677928934noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8538920983037175150.post-11832487370214763612009-03-28T17:41:00.000-07:002009-03-28T17:42:16.549-07:00Pointless Argument #1<span class="fbod quote">The Snuggie is the most important invention of the decade, possibly the century. Not only is it a highly functional piece of clothing, a source of hassle free warmth and a cultural phenomenon, the advertisements gave people with obviously developmental delays high profile acting opportunities. And snuggies no doubt.<br /><br />Disagree? I dare you!</span>TheEvilSuperGeniushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09757374342008279605noreply@blogger.com14